The Second Single Most Irresponsible Frightening Thing
by bitchdoilooklikeawizard
Summary: I just wrote a little something based on what Tamsin said in Destiny's Child (the ninth episode of the fourth season of Lost Girl), after Kenzi said, "This may be the single most irresponsible, frightening thing we have ever done," which was "More irresponsible than the time we snuck into the Fae Veteran's Hospital, switched the charts because you were having bad period cramps?"


"Ugh..." Kenzi moaned in a quiet and sickly manner. She sat in a fetal position on the clubhouse's couch. She looked at Tamsin who sat in the kitchen and had begun eating a makeshift lunch. Tamsin had no reaction to Kenzi's moaning, so Kenzi raised her volume a little louder. "_UGH_..."

Tamsin took a huge bite of her doughnut and rolled her electric green eyes. She chewed carefully before gulping the entire chunk down and regretting the size of it only as it slid slowly and painfully down her throat. She made a mental note to make her next bite a little smaller.

"What is it, Kenzi?" Tamsin asked, feigning concern. She'd seen plenty of injured or dying and Kenzi definitely did not fall among them in whatever current situation she'd be complaining about after Tamsin's question.

"Cramps," Kenzi replied. Her brutal honesty didn't surprise Tamsin one bit, but she didn't always love to hear about them whenever Kenzi was on her period. "It feels like I'm being stabbed."

"Kenzi, you're not being stabbed," Tamsin told her flatly as she took another huge bite, not even bothering to size it down as she'd previously planned. She loved how soft and moist the dough of it was and how chewy it felt between her teeth, but the best part had to be the sweet frosting on top with the occasional crunch from the sprinkles.

"But I am," Kenzi groaned as she shifted her position. "By freaking _Mother Nature_."

"Hey, it could be worse," Tamsin responded as she swallowed another bite. "You could _not_ be getting your period."

Kenzi gave her the evil eye.

"What? It's just Mother Nature's way of saying, 'Hey! Congratulations, Kenzi! You're not a mother!' Be happy."

"Easy for you to say, Ms. _Not_-On-Her-Period," Kenzi grouched. Tamsin smirked as she finished the last bite of her doughnut.

"You know what? Why don't you just keep your mind busy? Then you can just forget about it," Tamsin suggested, dusting her hands off and rising from her stool. She put her plate in the sink, walked over to Kenzi, and sat down next to her.

"Oh, okay," Kenzi replied theatrically in a way so that Tamsin would know it wasn't sincere. "I'll just forget about Niagara Bloody Falls flowing in between my legs. Sure! What do you feel like doing today, Tammy? Climbing trees? Swimming? Bicycling? Running a marathon? Or— I know! A triathlon!"

"Don't be stupid, Kenzi..." Tamsin rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time that day. "You wouldn't even want to do any of that if you _weren't_ on your period."

"I know... I was being a sarcastic bitch," Kenzi told her. She'd forgotten Tamsin still existed in a state of being mentally juvenile. She had been ever since her rebirth. "Fine. Let's walk around town a bit. I've heard exercise helps..."

"Sure. Have fun!" Tamsin exclaimed, hoping she wouldn't have to go.

"Uh-uh, you're coming with me," Kenzi stated firmly. "Besides, what if I run into some big, bad Fae? I'd need you."

"_Fine_..." Tamsin sighed and got up from the couch. "Let's get this over with."

As soon as the two of them walked outside and the bright sun hit them, Kenzi started dramatically hissing.

"Ugh, sunlight. I can't," Kenzi muttered, but continued walking anyway.

"Cool it, Dracula. We've only been outside for— not even a minute," Tamsin replied.

"Ugh, I know. A whole not-even-a-minute too long."

Tamsin rolled her eyes again and shook her head.

"Hey, I have a place I want to go," Tamsin told her suddenly. "A friend of mine told me that she was very sick and I'd like to get a brief visit in today, if that's okay with you. We're in walking distance, so I thought maybe— if you didn't mind— we could... You know... Visit her."

"Sure, whatever, Tamsin," Kenzi replied, clearly in pain. "Wherever you want to go."

"Great. Mexico it is."

Kenzi's face dropped and she glared at Tamsin.

"_What?_" she asked through clenched teeth as she stopped walking abruptly. Tamsin stopped too and admired the intense fire behind Kenzi's silvery blue eyes. "When you said walking distance, I thought you meant—"

"Relax! I was kidding!"

"Ugh... Okay, so where is it really?"

"It's the Fae Veteran's Hospital," Tamsin explained. Kenzi appeared bored. "It's not that bad."

"Okay... Let's get a move on," Kenzi gestured to start walking again. They walked along the sidewalks until they reached their desired destination and went inside. "This surprisingly does _not_ smell like a hospital..."

"That's because in Fae hospitals, nurses don't let their patients rot away in their beds like humans do. It's gross," Tamsin told her. She went over to the reception desk and talked to the woman. Tamsin stood there talking for a few minutes and Kenzi wondered what they could possibly talking about for so long so she approached them and the conversation became clear.

"...I'm telling you, there is no one by that name here."

"I know she's here. She told me she was hurt. Like, really hurt. You have to believe me."

"And you have to believe _me_. She's _not_ here."

"Well... Well... Did she die or something?"

"I don't know. Let me check," the woman said.

Tamsin and Kenzi waited for a few silent moments.

"I'm sorry, it appears that no one by that name has ever been here."

"Look her up. She's a veteran. She has to be here," Tamsin ordered stubbornly. The woman sighed.

"I have a hold of her records, her history, everything. She's not dead. She's never been here or any other hospital for that matter. It appears that she's been perfectly healthy because she hasn't been to a Fae doctor for a while... Not even for a check-up."

"But—"

"I'm sorry. She's not here. And I'm going to have to ask you to leave because you're causing a scene."

Tamsin peeked around and saw various patients looking at her and others emerging from their rooms to see what was going down. Tamsin hadn't realized that she was so loud.

"Ma'am, if you don't leave, I'm going to have to call security..."

"No, no. You don't have to do that. I'm sorry for the trouble," Tamsin sighed in defeat. "I'll be leaving now."

"Yup, have a nice day," the woman called robotically, never even looking up. She typed a few words on a computer and got up from her chair. She walked into a room with a door marked 'Employees Only' and shut the door behind her. The two left and went outside.

"_Pst_, Tamsin! C'mon," Kenzi whispered as she led Tamsin around the back of the hospital. She looked around and snuck back in, pulling Tamsin along with returned back to the reception desk and saw that the woman still had not returned. When she saw that not a single person had their eyes on her, Kenzi grabbed some papers and folders the woman had left behind.

"Kenzi? What're you doing—"

Tamsin's question got cut off by Kenzi covering her mouth with a finger.

"Tamsin, it's clear that your friend isn't here. So while we're here, why not have some fun?"

"Kenzi, I don't like where this is going..."

"Here," Kenzi told her as she split the pile of papers in half and then the pile of folders.

"What am I supposed to do with these?" Tamsin asked. Her eyes lit up. "Oh! Do you want me to draw weird dicks in here?"

"No... No... That's not good enough."

"But... But... You said I'd gotten good at that..."

Tamsin's disappointed face panicked Kenzi.

"Uh... Uh... You did! I meant what I said. Here. We'll just have a little fun and switch some charts around, okay? No harm, no foul."

"But if you switch the charts around, then there will be harm and then there will be foul—"

"_Shhh! Tammy!_ Don't over think this."

"Why do you even want to do this anyway?"

Kenzi pointed at her stomach and replied in all seriousness, "Cramps. Bad cramps."

Tamsin shrugged and figured that was good enough logic for her and dropped to the floor onto her knees with Kenzi and began opening the folders, taking their charts out and switching them with others. She paused over two charts that said something about a breathing apparatuses and wondered what the heck those meant. She switched them anyway, figuring if it were serious it wouldn't be too bad that she switched them because both charts were so similar. She looked over at Kenzi who was also switching charts, but never hesitating over any as she had done. Tamsin felt she'd done enough and sat and waited for Kenzi.

"You good?" Tamsin asked after a few minutes.

"Yeah," Kenzi decided. They both rose and returned the folders and papers, never being seen by anyone. Despite Kenzi still feeling horrible, they jogged away from the hospital for a few seconds until they felt safe. Kenzi breathed, "Dude..."

"Yeah?" Tamsin huffed.

"That..." Kenzi paused to catch her breath. "That may be the single most irresponsible and frightening thing we have ever done—"

"Um, yeah! You think?" Tamsin exclaimed, still kind of nervous about it.

"—And we will never talk of this again, understood?"

Tamsin nodded sharply.

"Good," Kenzi breathed relievedly. As soon as they got into the clubhouse, they turned on the TV to relax and waste the rest of the day away. Once Tamsin entered a password in order to access a Fae channel, a warning popped up onto the screen as a woman spoke.

"It appears that the Fae Veteran Hospital has had a major slip up and accidentally _killed_ a Fae Elder. The name of the Elder has not been released, but it is said that the Elder was taken _off_ his respirator when he should have stayed on it, as he was in a fragile state. Meanwhile, in other good news, another Fae Elder that was thought to need his respirator for the rest of his life has just been taken off today as he displayed _immense_ amounts of improvement in less than one day—"

Kenzi abruptly turned off the TV and set the remote down. She snuck a glance at Tamsin out of the corner of her eye, who only sat and stared blankly at the TV.

"Never again," Kenzi whispered.

"Got it," Tamsin nodded stiffly.


End file.
